Q: My motivation has decreased to follow the path? What should I do?
A: I think if you lose the motivation, then stop doing any of the practice. Stop hitting your head against the wall if you’re already in that state. In order to realize that you’ve been banging on the wall, your head against a wall, and to break away from that…because I was going through that kind of difficulties in the past…and to break away from that and to overcome that kind of obstacles is that you read Milarepa’s 100,000 songs. Like in Shangpa lineage, there’s also similar to 100,000 songs.
And then Milarepa’s 100,000 songs is very beautiful. It’s very…how should I describe… very, very raw… very beautiful and raw, and natural. Not some kind of religious poetic. Because there is some kind of religious poetic that I don’t like it very much. Because then it’s all about, ‘oh, I praise you! And, you’re the creators!’ Literally it’s out of touch with the reality. In the Milarepa’s, the 100,000 songs, is talking about the reality. And that’s why it can give you a sense of awakening. And just like that in the Shangpa lineage side, every lineage holder have written like maybe one page of two, and they made a volume out of it. And you can find on the internet.
And then I think, these are the lifetime experience. It’s not some kind of poetry. It’s not a fantasy. It is their hard work and the whole lifetime, starting from their teenager lifetime, and then they start accumulating these kind of qualities. And when you read this and reflect upon yourself and meditate a little bit, it helps you a lot.
It did help me a lot. Because there was a time in my retreat. ‘What am I doing here? ’Because it feels like you’re eating the same food. You cannot sleep in the bed. You have to sit in a meditation box every day for three years and nine months. It was not a traditional three years and three months. It was three years and nine months. And it was difficult. The feeling was a little bit like, you’re living in the same dream again and again, again, again, you slap yourself with your own hand and you wake up and then again, you’re having the same dream again. And you start to think that what is the meaning of this.
And then I received a teaching and read a book about the Milarepa’s 100,000 songs and the Shangpa lineage, starting from the Niguma and Sukhasiddhi. These are the two Indian lineage holder. One is the elder sister of Naropa, and one was a mother of six children, then they became Mahasiddha, and they became one of the few Indian Yogi as a lineage holder. And I love that teachings and it’s really beautiful and I think you should do the same and it gives you another different kind of awakening perspective.
With love and respect from Kalu Rinpoche
10th. Nov. 2019 Live Q&A