Practicing what you desire never works.
You should practice with instructions of your teacher by interacting and having a personal connection with you teacher to clear your doubts in practice.
When you have certain doubt and misunderstanding, then again you can ask your teacher.
Then you keep this kind of bound and connection very close.
With the teacher knowing your capacity, then gradually there will be meditation teachings, samadhi practicing and visualization and so on.
Just because there are higher teachings and empowerments don’t mean that you can understand right away.
We all must practice gradually.
With Love and Respect from Kalu Rinpoche