Q: How to do with self-inferiority complex especially if you have been disliked or excluded when interacting with other people?
A: I think the feel of being disliked and being excluded is always there in our life and it’s not something new, when interacting with other people. My answer to that is, it depends on the position where you are at.
I am going to explain about it from my Dharma experience, in Dharma perspective. If you are only interested in Dharma, and you feel that people around you want to push you away, and kind of dislike you, and then maybe you can go and meet the master, and then speak to him alone or with some people together. I think that is quite important to find the personal guidance.
Of course there are public teachings which we always receive in the big temples, big gatherings, but it’s always important to have a personal guidance from the master as much as possible. Because people being disliked to you, it can be two things. It can be your Dharma brothers and sisters who are simply jealous of you. But sometime in your belief that they have jealous towards you, maybe it is your own illusion as well. So either way, to find the personal guidance from the master in the daily basis, I think that is very important, regardless of being disliked, regardless of being excluded.
From my experience, when the whole Sanghas is trying to exclude you, that is the point where you have to prove everything right. But when you say that you have to prove everything right, it doesn’t mean that you have to prove everything right by hatred. You don’t have to prove everybody wrong by hatred. You can prove everybody wrong by being truthful, and your truthfulness and your belief towards truthfulness has to come from your wisdom and the clarity without taking any side, but the truthful part. I think that’s the most important that we have to keep in mind.
So whenever you feel being disliked or being excluded, do not feel that you are abandoned, speak to your master, and speak to him alone, him or her, ask for a personal guidance, but then if you cannot, you can’t find it, then at least try to follow the lord Buddha’s teaching and continue with the basic principle, like try to do some guru yoga, or preliminary practice, and keep it very simple way as possible, so I think that is much more helpful. Because that has helped me.
Because in my position, the religious position, there are so many different things going on, which I can’t explain to you. But the only thing you can protect yourself is to be truthful, and be honest about it, and do not lose your spiritual quality. Because when you are in my position, you will see a lot of money and power, going left and right, people being lost in between, and then yourself getting lost within that is very very easy, the higher you go, the easier it is to be lost.
So, sometimes when I see that perspective, when I see so many great masters being so pure, and then my devotion to them even much more stronger than before because of my understanding towards them that, regardless of all these distractions around them, yet they still continue with the quality of benefiting all the sentient beings, and in their own personal life they have nothing for themselves. So, all these kinds of perspectives, when I see it, it gives me inspiration and encouragement to go on with my religious responsibilities.
With love and respect from your Kalu Rinpoche
4th Sep. 2018 @ HongKong, Facebook Live